3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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