Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
