Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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