You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
