Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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