At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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