I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
