remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
