Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
