We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
