Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
