listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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