Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
