I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize