We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
