i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize