his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
