I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't deserve a penis
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Randomize
