Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize