Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
