im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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