It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
