I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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