UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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