school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
