apparently the secret to your success is patron
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
