If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
