I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
