White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
did i walk over a car last night?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
