Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
