My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
