i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
