I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
