did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
