I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
