I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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