and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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