Please don't use social media to get back at me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
