Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
