Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
