how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize