thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize