Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
tell me about the eggs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
