remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
