dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
