hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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