Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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