I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The best revenge is premature balding
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize