oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
