can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
