i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
