I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize