he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
