so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I want to walk on stilts...naked
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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