Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
