Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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