I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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