I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
