so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
