Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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